I’m rubbish at caring for the environment. Maybe not full-on plastic landfill rubbish, but still rubbish. But when the greenest thing about me is the sputum of my nine-year-old son as we walk along a busy road to school, I realise something needs to be done. I console myself that I’m not as bad asContinue reading “… Litter Picking: It’s not easy being green.”
Tag Archives: Funny
… Buying a Phone: A tragic story of unfulfilled potential.
Summer 2006… “So, how many texts do you send in a typical month?” I didn’t want to sound like a technophobe, so I thought I’d better exaggerate a bit. So I doubled it. “About twelve?” I suggested. Do you know how many extra texts I ended up paying for as part of my deal thatContinue reading “… Buying a Phone: A tragic story of unfulfilled potential.”
… Christmas Markets
I’m a sucker for Christmas. Always have been. I like the lights. I like the music. I like the seasonal cheer and the peace on earth and goodwill to all men. I’m the sort of person who cries at the Muppets Christmas Carol and the Yogi Bear Christmas Special. Or when the Snowman melts orContinue reading “… Christmas Markets”
… My Street: the guided tour
I love the street I live on. I’m very lucky. But we have a dark secret. And now it needs to come out. Our street is Slightly Posh. Now, that’s not necessarily a bad thing, but let me show you and you can decide for yourself. Mind the wobbly paving stones and the overhanging wetContinue reading “… My Street: the guided tour”
… Passwords (or “Chris Tarrant and the curse of NHS I.T.”)
This month I have mainly been getting annoyed by computer passwords. It’s like “Who Want’s to Be a Millionaire?” but with more questions and less prize money.
Chris: Final answer?
Me: Final answer, Chris.
Chris: OK. You said Password64.
Me: I know.
Me: Hurry up Chris
Chris: You’re absolutely…. wrong!
No way! Piss off, Chris! This was definitely right yesterday.
Or have I changed it?
… My Olympic Diary: Week 2
You have one new message… Message received today at four twenty six am… Hi Rick. It’s Clare. Clare Balding? I’m in Tokyo. We’re really stuck for things to say out here. Me and Gabby were wondering if you couldn’t knock us up another week of your Olympic Diary? Call me. Thanks.
…My Olympic Diary: Week 1
I love the Olympics. But because of broadcasting rights this year there has been reduced BBC coverage of the Tokyo games. Fortunately, as a serious and internationally respected sports pundit, I got a call from Clare Balding asking me if I’d be happy with the BBC using my Olympic Diary as the focus of their broadcast this year. I’ve got a sneak preview for you now.
…The Last Day of School: A story of built-in osbsolescence.
Seven years ago I dropped my daughter off at primary school for her first day. This week I make the same trip for the final time. And manage very poorly. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
… A Taste of His Own Medicine
Tuesday, 07:10 BBC Radio 5 Live breakfast interview with Nicky Campbell. CAMPBELL: While sources suggest the NHS is considering making vaccination mandatory for front line staff, BBC figures have shown up to 20% of healthcare staff in London remain unvaccinated against Covid-19. We ask GP Dr Rick Brown why this is. Dr Brown: whyContinue reading “… A Taste of His Own Medicine”
The alarm goes off. “You get up first.” Purrs Mrs. Brown seductively. “No you go first – I’m doing school drop off today.” I whisper. “COO-EEE! I’M HERE! I’LL GET UP FIRST!” Oh, shut up, bladder! And that’s the problem. I am now a gentleman of a certain age and if I ever fancy aContinue reading “…Getting Older”
“It’s not fair!” “It’s not fair!” rants the boy. “But it’s the best part!” I try to reassure. “It’s not. It’s boring. I wanted to be the donkey!” “But your part is better.” “The donkey has a song.” Yes, that’s right. This week they have been casting the school nativity and the boy doesn’t feelContinue reading “…The Nativity”